Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
