Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
