It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
