Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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