That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
