Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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