chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
