next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
