...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
