She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
