It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I could fuck to npr.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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