she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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