: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
