i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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