Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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