Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
worst night to have a conscience
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
