As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
