Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she peed on how many people?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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