i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
