Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
