i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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