i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
