Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
