she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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