do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
