he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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