I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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