i just google imaged poop.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
OPIZZABONMYDICK
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
