He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
