I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
