Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
