He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
