Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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