dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
