Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
