her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
