Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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