Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
