Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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