I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
