their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
