I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize
