worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
A+ Viking dick
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
