Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
