Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
