he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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