No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
