i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You did what with his pubic hair?
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