we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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