she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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