right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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