In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
