I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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