ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
